Streets of Rage
Sonic For Hire: Streets of Rage is the third episode of the sixth season of the Sonic For Hire series and is the sixty-eighth episode overall. In this episode, Sonic becomes a big success, but finds out that Tails is broke, so he decides to help him out. Plot Sonic wakes up in his new mansion's bed, ready for a brand new day in his brand new life. He is also surprised that the Butterfly Effect hasn't screwed anything up. Just then, Amy Rose enters Sonic's room, and announces that the time has come to get "married"; her and all of Sonic's maids "marrying" all the half used ketchup bottles to prevent Sonic's Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Sandwiches from containing ketchup water, which is just a very bizarre way to put what Sonic calls "Ketchup Combo Time". She also lists off his schedule. First, Sonic has a Victoria's Secret BJ Bonanza party at 8am, followed by breakfast and cartoons. Sonic becomes stoked at the promise of blowjobs and breakfast sandwiches. Sonic begins shoving a huge table full of breakfast into his face while watching a stock market report. The report reveals that Apple has created a vibrator known as the iVibe, allowing their stock to soar an extra 5000 points, resulting in Sonic making a gazillion more dollars. While Sonic lounges in the lap of luxury, he decides to give Tails a call to see how he's doing. Tails answers his phone in a frightened manner in the middle of a dark and dangerous alley, thinking Sonic is Mr. X, someone who Tails apparently owes money to, to tell him that he needs a few more days to get it. Sonic clarifies that he's not Mr. X, but is incredibly confused as to who he is, what has happened to Tails, where exactly he is... and which channel HBO is on in this new reality, since his TV guide function isn't working. Tails reveals that he's been living in Streets of Rage, specifically (after yelling at a person to get away from his "piss jar") on the Boulevard of Broken Crack Pipes, telling Sonic to hurry. Sonic heads to the garage to bust out what he thinks is a sweet ride, only to see the only thing inside this garage is a pink tricycle. Incredulous, but left with no other options, Sonic slowly pedals off to find Tails... at least until Amy Rose sees this and mentions that Sonic usually goes for another garage filled with cool super hero vehicles. In Streets of Rage, Tails is being beaten by muscular thugs named Big Ben & Abadede. When Sonic pedals in, he tells them to stop what they're doing. One of the thugs notions to the other, Big Ben, to the "little girl" on "her" pink bike, mentioning that "she" looks good enough to eat. Sonic guesses that this Big Ben is not the famous football star, and that he's about to be sexually assaulted. Pushing a button on the tricycle, Sonic activates a huge cannon, which blows up the thugs. Tails thanks Sonic for his help, as Sonic demands Tails explain why he's broke... and to hurry because he reeks. Tails reveals that he did everything Sonic told him to do 20 years ago, until Mark Zuckerberg screwed him out of all of his stock. Afterwards, he starred in a presumably disastrous Spiderman reboot, and has since been living on the streets, giving "Tailjobs" for food. Sonic logically concludes that time travel may have ruined Tails' life and turned him into Andrew Garfield for a while. He opts to return to the past and beat Zuckerberg up. Though he tells Tails to take a shower first. Tails gets the signal, and summons two girls named Electra and Stretch Mark for "shower time". The girls proceed to spit on Tails as he lathers himself up. Sonic cringing-ly tells Tails that he can take a real shower at his place. Upon Tails finishing his spit shower, he and Sonic discover that the Epoch is missing! When Sonic questions who could possibly want to steal a time machine, Tails points out a clue: a half eaten deep fried wallet. Sonic realizes who the culprit could be: "Fuckin' ''Eggman!" Character Appearances *Sonic the Hedgehog *Amy Rose *Miles "Tails" Prower *Mr. X (Mentioned) *Big Ben *Abadede *Electra *Stretch Mark *Doctor Eggman (Mentioned) Transcript ''To be added. Trivia * "Electra" is not Electra, but rather Garnet (or Soozie) from Streets of Rage 3. ** Likewise, there is no such Streets of Rage character as "Stretch Mark". The sprite used is of Yasha/Onihime (or Mona/Lisa) as she appeared in Streets of Rage 3 Video To be uploaded. Category:Episodes Category:Season 6